


Nepja

by diokoxkristof



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Big Brother Thor (Marvel), Intersex Jotunn (Marvel), Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Jotunn | Frost Giant, Laufey just wants his baby back, M/M, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Thor (Marvel), but he means well... mostly, odin is just really F'd up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-07-06 14:08:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15887583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diokoxkristof/pseuds/diokoxkristof
Summary: Prompt:Imagine that when Loki, Thor, Sif and the warriors three went to Jotunheim and the frost giant touched Loki, instead of panicking, the Jotun soldier revealed Loki to the others, cheering him as their long-lost prince.From the text:“How long did you keep him from me?!”The deep voice shook under the giant king’s rage, his hands curled into fists as a new and sharper ice-blade formed around his arm, no one ever dared to talk over the All Father; Odin looked down, silenced, and for a brief moment his and Loki’s gaze met; the prince could see the remorse eating away at his father’s wrinkled expression.That was not supposed to happen. Loki’s mind whirled into motion, cleverly unveiling Odin’s house most shameful secret before it could even fully transpire.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "Imagine that when Loki, Thor, Sif and the warriors three went to Jotunheim and the frost giant touched Loki, instead of panicking, the Jotun soldier revealed Loki to the others, cheering him as their long-lost prince."
> 
> I liked the idea and went with it but changed a few things (The post was longer) and started writing. 
> 
> Maybe there will be M-preg in the future, I'll let you know.
> 
> Than you so much to @purplecrayon (betareaderlibrarian on tumblr) for editing this mess! https://betareaderlibrarian.tumblr.com/
> 
> Got the prompt from imagine-loki on tumblr:  
> http://imagine-loki.tumblr.com

Loki’s gaze, constantly looking for enemies and threats in the shadows, leaves their sides and backs to look at Thor’s obnoxiously red cape - so out of place in the icy realm. His hairs raise under his armour, a feeling of dread coming over him as they walked further in, the cracked stone and ice that made up the crust of the planet moving under their weight.

The icy wind left his nose numb and his lips chapped, fortunately, he could still feel his fingers and move his hands quite well. He could not, however, say the same for the Lady Sif, who was shaking like a leaf under her leathers, and could not help a smile coming to his lips while looking at her discomfort.

The idea of coming to Jotunheim was rash and foolish, just like his brother, and Loki did not mean for it to come this far; he had counted on Heimdall not letting them through the bridge. Loki had left Heimdall a clear view of their plans just for that, instead, the only thing the guardian warned them about was their too-light clothing for the freezing climate.

The younger prince came back from his thoughts as he heard steps coming from a semi-collapsed turret just over them. Aware of the danger he takes a couple of steps back to see a looming figure over their heads.

“You’ve come a long way to die, Asgardians.”

A deep, rumbling voice boomed, echoing on the empty walls of the ruins around them; a frost giant, bigger and older than the ones Loki had seen while reaching the old temple, sat on an imposing throne, King Laufey.

Thor stepped forward, his brow creased and teeth bared.

“I’m Thor Odinson-“

“We know who you are.”

The giant cut him off with a hard edge to his voice as he looked at the golden prince with barely concealed disgust. His brother took no notice of that as he stepped towards the throne.

“How did your people get into Asgard?” Thor growled at the king, gripping the handle of his hammer until his knuckles turned white.

Laufey turned his head meaningfully towards Loki. “The house of Odin is full of traitors.”

Loki’s hands shook as he grasped one of his hidden daggers, could he know? The Jotuns he helped enter his realm were in no way connected to royalty, he had made sure of that.

“Do not dishonor my father's name with your lies.” Thor’s harsh tones distracted him from his worries- he had more pressing matters at hand.

“Your father is a murderer and a thief, and why did you come here? To make peace? You long for battle, you crave it. You’re nothing but a boy trying to prove himself a man.” The king stated bitterly, red eyes full of resignation. “This boy has grown tired of your mockery.”

As the back and forth between the two continued Loki saw more guards in the shadows, from their limbs weapons made of ice grew, sharp and deadly. They needed to go, he needed to get them out of that mess and back where Heimdall could take them home.

“Thor, stop and think. Look around you. We are outnumbered.” He whispered at his brother side, desperately hoping to make him see reason, Thor did not even turn his way before answering: “Know your place, brother...” That hurt, but it would do them no good to show it right in front of their enemies, so he remained still beside his brother. Something in Laufey’s demeanor changed, his shoulders dropped as he softly exhaled a deep and frustrated breath.

“You should listen to his counsel. You know not what your actions unleash.” The king’s gaze was lost along the edges of his broken realm, his face sagged with grief and shame, thinking of too much suffering; his eyes then slowly returned to the ruins where they stood, looking at small fragments of jade that used to be part of the great temple. “But I do. Go now, while I still allow it.” He commanded, the words dragging themselves out of his mouth, heavy with something best forgotten.

Loki hesitated for a few seconds, feeling something tighten in his chest, then a frost giant almost as big as Laufey walked heavily towards them, the floor trembling underneath his feet as he stood mere steps from them.

“We will accept your most gracious offer.” Loki stammered, at last, bowing to the monarch, he then waited a few more moments to turn his shoulders to the throne. “Come on, brother.” He beckoned Thor who was still looking into Laufey’s bright red eyes. Finally, his brother turned to leave and started to walk slowly behind him.

“Run back home, little princess.” As soon as the words left the Jotun’s mouth the dread Loki had felt in his chest since entering the temple spread to his guts, twisting them.

“Damn.” Loki heard Mjolnir slide in Thor’s hand and hit the Jotun soldier before he could even take out his own weapons; the frantic rhythm of battle suddenly took over the howl of the harsh winds. Loki threw knives, stabbed and cast illusions and one after the other the creatures fell at his hand. The other warriors held their own until a blood churning scream arose from Volstagg. “Don’t let ‘em touch you!” Loki had a brief moment of respite to look towards the warrior and notice the blackness of his dead skin before he was engaged in combat again - the giant who insulted his brother was attacking him at close range and using Loki’s momentary distraction and nearness to grab his forearm.

Loki’s armor shook and fell to the ground, and Loki prepared for the blinding numbness of necrotized skin. Instead, he felt the cold leave his body, a comfortable temperature encased his arm as his skin turned blue and ridged. The Jotun warrior stared, as did Loki, but was the first to come back to reality and took hold of Loki’s other arm as what happened the first time repeated itself, only now the feeling was expanding to Loki’s whole body instead of just his limb.

“You…” The soldier looked at him in disbelief, as if seeing a ghost, so Loki wasted no time and tried to kick him to free himself, but the sheer brute force of the monster kept him trapped. “Father!” The soldier shouted and the king turned his head, his body going rigid as soon as he saw Loki.

The battle around them slowly came to a halt, one warrior at a time, until only Thor’s weapon was raised. His eyes eventually caught his little brother’s form and his bloodthirsty smile immediately left his face. “What- " The golden prince did not get to finish his question as a ray of light busted into the middle of the hall and the All-Father on his eight-legged horse landed on the icy floor, his gaze was as cold as Jotunheim itself and his movements were measured. He stepped off his mount and hastily walked towards the other king, his eye first focused on Thor and then on Laufey.

“Laufey-King, I- “

“How long did you keep him from me?!” The deep voice shook under the giant king’s rage, his hands curled into fists as a new and sharper ice-blade formed around his arm, no one ever dared to talk over the All-Father; Odin looked down, silenced, and for a brief moment his and Loki’s gaze met; the prince could see the remorse eating away at his father’s wrinkled expression. That was not supposed to happen. Loki’s mind whirled into motion, cleverly unveiling Odin’s house most shameful secret before it could even fully transpire.

“… Since our last battle, at the temple.” The other king admitted shamefully.“Let us talk about this… somewhere else, please. For the boy.” He added while looking at Laufey dead in the eyes and still not acknowledging Thor who was standing right beside him. The other king stood silent for a few more seconds, then exhaled, his body was still rigid and his voice raspy from battle.

“So be it. My guards will escort your wounded in our healing halls, you will follow me.” Loki was broken free of the Jotun prince’s grip while his father looked towards Thor, disappointment clear in his scrutiny, Loki examined his skin, observed it return to his usual pallor under the inquiry of every being present.

“What is happening, father?” It was Thor, at last, to eloquently ask the question burning inside his little brother’s mind; Odin turned his hardened gaze at him and still did not answer, instead it was Laufey who came forward. “Jotunheim is welcoming its lost prince, the one that the All-Father stole from us, from me.”

The words cut deep into Loki’s skin as the silence of the hall was broken by the cheers of the Jotun soldiers.

“Lost prince… surely you jest… Loki is a skilled shapeshifter; he could have simply… reacted to the magic…” Thor was blabbering nonsense, as usual, Loki felt the start of a bout of hysterical laughter build up in his chest but he remained silent, only a snort escaped his composure. The other Asgardians, however, picked up on it and glared while king Laufey smirked.

“Now, all father, shall we go inside my halls?” The group fell silent, Odin seemed to suddenly remember his position. “Yes, we shall. We are grateful for your kindness.” The kings took the first steps towards the main palace, but Thor’s enraged voice once more demanded their attention. “Why are we doing this father? Why are you bending to their will? Brother, why don’t you speak a word?!” The worry on the blonde’s face was genuine and full of confusion, Loki wished he felt the same as it would be less painful than the certainty of the truth, dark clouds were rapidly forming in the skies above them, it had been a while since Thor had lost control over his powers and that would not be the best moment for it to happen again. The cold wind whipped Loki’s face, and he forced a smile.

“We’ll be fine bro-Thor, we’ll fix everything, as always.”

The last thing that Loki saw before turning was Thor’s expression as the truth of what just transpired dawned upon him; the ice that made up the palace vibrated with the shock of grief-stricken and violent thunder.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What? I'm alive? Yesh, I suck, I'm aware.  
> I completed the whole outline and will try to update quite often (It's national writing month, so I hope i can keep up!)  
> This is unbeta'd so let me know if you find anything weird in the text!

Thor could not help but look in his brother’s direction and when he saw his detached expression the prince realized how much of a fool he was; a storm was raging outside the palace and, no matter for how many centuries he trained to do so, the Odinson could not force himself to quiet the rain falling on the icy realm, not this once.  
The walls of the room they were staying in trembled under the force of his thunder, elaborate lanterns made of some luminescent rock falling from their posts, one of the Jotuns sent him a dirty look and Thor realized it was probably either Helblindi or Byleistr, the two sons of King Laufey, but he could not discern between them anyway since all Jotuns had the same horrifying appearance with their marked blue skin and ugly red eyes.  
He stopped that train of thought to look back at Loki and tried not to pay notice to the rumble of another lightning in the distance.

“We are now in private, Odin Child-thief, explain yourself.”

The Jotun spoke with barely concealed rage, frost was creeping up his arm in a natural response to the adrenaline in his body; his father sat on the steps that connected the entrance of the room to the small lounging area they were in, too short to comfortably reach the chairs but too wary to stand up, Thor could see the shadow of the Odinsleep on his face.

“When I saw him in that temple I knew I had to hold him in my arms, Laufey, and he recognized me, he turned his skin pink and his eyes green, he looked like-”

Odin trailed off, but the other picked up on it completed the all-father’s thought.

“He looks like her. Your firstborn. I can’t help but notice that your other one acts like her, they must have both taken after their dad.”

There was a heavy silence in the room and Thor’s confused gaze met Loki’s own.

“… Her?”

That was the first thing his usually eloquent little brother said, and it did not sound at all like his voice, it was almost a painful noise, the kind of word that does not come from your mouth but from your chest and gets stuck in your throat.

The giant recognized it for what it was, a desperate attempt to change the topic, but decided to indulge the younger’s curiosity.

“… Yes, Her. Apparently, the child-thief does not find it in itself to talk about his only legitimate child, Odin’s firstborn, the terrible goddess of death, Hela, that he himself cast into the void; the house of Odin is not only home to traitors and Child-thiefs, but also to liars and murderers.”

Thor’s gaze fell to his father in search of any kind of denial, Odin stayed silent, he clearly felt the weight of his actions, and would not refuse his own doings any longer.

“She was… dangerous, Thor, and I fear you are on her same path, on the path I followed for a long time when I was cruel and selfish. I wish something better for you, I wished better for her, but I failed. I failed all of my children.”  
The weight of those words hung heavy in the room, a pair of bright red eyes looked thoughtfully at their old enemy, after a few moments he sat down on a chair made out of white furs.

“I have some questions.”

Loki states looking up from his hands, he had been fiddling since the Jotuns had released him.

“You said that you would teach us about our origins and that Hela was Odin’s only legitimate child, what did you mean by that?”

Laufey looked confused for a second and then looked at Thor, the blonde felt the scrutiny of the king and was relieved to feel his gaze move to his own father.

“They don’t even know that…?”

His voice was full of disappointment, he just had a grim realization; Odin shook his head.

“I… am not the best at resolving issues of this nature. I am a good king but I’m aware of- “

“What do we not EVEN know? What could there possibly be more to know beside me being a mon-” 

Loki’s lips sealed shut halfway through the word.

“… not Asgardian.”

Loki’s enraged shouting had turned into a whisper, his face was clammy and his eyes would not leave the ground, Thor felt his stomach knot, a heavy weight on his chest, his own father did not look any better but he spoke nonetheless:

“I… wanted to tell you for a long time, but never found the words nor the strength to do so.”

He looked so old, so frail at that moment, seated on an ice step, the three giants looking darkly towards him.

“I love you both. Like I loved Hela, and I fear it is because of that love that I failed you for so long, I did not wish to hurt you. Loki… You are my son in all but blood. I always saw myself in you, we are more similar than you believe.” 

He looked meaningfully towards the younger one.

“I found you at the end of the war, Laufey and I had just fought, I was retrieving the casket of ancient winters from the high temple… and I also found you. I now know you were not abandoned, but when I took you in my arms and you changed your skin to match mine… I knew you were my son.”

Loki’s mouth was agape, he seemed to not be able to catch breath properly and Thor was almost sure he looked pretty much the same as him, he could not imagine his little brother as one of those creatures, he is smart, sweet and mischievous, not a being of ice and cruelty.

“Thor… Frigga did not birth you, you were born of Jord, a goddess in Midgard, and you have  
Asgardian and Jotun blood from me, for my mother was a Jotun.”

There was a deafening sound of thunder from the sky, the air was filled with electricity, Thor felt like he could not think, couldn't breathe, he had to leave. He had to, lest he destroys everything.  
Without saying a word he leaves the room, the guard's motion to stop him but Laufey dismisses them. 

“As long as he hurts no one, let him go.”

Thor spun his hammer and took off, the eye of the storm shifting as he flew towards the vast icy planes of the foreign planet.

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“… well, now we know why there were no portraits made for our- his grandmother.”

Loki said, full of scorn and poison looking towards the storm, as kids the two would relentlessly try and search for pictures of their grandmother, Loki could not place exactly a moment in time when they stopped, but they had and never spoke of it again, never wondered why it was so.

“There were plenty, my father loved her deeply, and when she died it was a sad day for all the realms. When the war started, however, we had to remove them, it was seen as… unpalatable by the council at the time. And I was too tired from battle and too preoccupied with the thought of my wife and your brother alone in the palace to mind it.”

Loki scoffs, there will be always a reason, won’t it?

“These are a lot of excuses All-Father, all I can see is a man who lies to his sons, hides his ancestry, imprisons his own daughter and steals the children of others.”

Laufey comments, darkly, but then adds:

“I want to keep peace despite everything, All-Father, I would have it, but not with a king who cannot even put the needs of his children first.”

Loki felt his chest tighten and his stomach churn, this wasn’t good, and it was all his fault, for going into Jotunheim, for gulling his brother into leading them there, if he hadn’t they would still be at the palace, Thor would still see him as a brother, they would still be blissfully ignorant about their fucked-up family.  
The sorcerer does not know what keeps him from crying, maybe pride, maybe he is just foolish, anyway, he makes it through the tense silence and the sharp stares the two kings are sharing amongst themselves.

“I would like to have my son back in Jotunheim for a period, and yours too.”

The cavernous voice of the ice-king interrupts Loki’s reflection.

“I want them to know about their heritage, about other worlds other than Asgard, at my time I made mistakes, and I’ve instructed my children on how to avoid them I would do the same for those you have raised; If you agree they’ll stay here for two seasons, about twelve lunar cycles, and then, if they so desire, they’ll be able to go back to Asgard.”

Odin sighed deeply, his one good eye looking towards Loki.

“No harm shall come to them.”

He commanded after a few moments, Laufey sneered. 

“No harm? What do you mean by that? Not a single scratch? Do I have to promise you they won’t endanger themselves? No, I won’t promise that, what I will promise is that no one will harm them with the intention to kill, or maim, any such behaviour will be severely punished if attempted, and they will be given the means to defend themselves, that’s my promise.”

Odin mulled over the words that were just said for quite a while, until finally, he relented, nodding.

“Let it be so, then.”

Loki felt betrayed once more, once more he does not get to decide, once more he can’t help what happens in his life, it’s always him who decides, always Odin. He hates him.  
And he has even more of a reason to hate him now.  
The two eldest make their way towards Laufey’s study, or what Loki presumes to be Laufey’s study, and leaves Loki alone with his two blood brothers.  
He knows their names, of course he does, but these are supposed to be his actual real brothers, these… creatures. Loki cannot help but cringe at the blue skin, the markings the eyes, even knowing they mirror his own true self.  
Although he knows who they are he cannot distinguish them, one is tall and broad, a mountain of muscle and has been silent the whole time, his face not betraying any emotion, the other is leaner, more similar to the current king, but his eyes shine with sharp wit and pungent intelligence, he is the one who goaded Thor into fighting.

“I’ll go look for the princess, I don’t want him to do any more damage than necessary. You stay with… him.”

The prince, who he now understands to be Helblindi, the oldest, walks out of the room sparing him only a doubtful glance; This left him with the mountain, who looked towards where his brother went off to with red eyes full of nervousness which somehow manages to turn into pure panic when he meet Loki’s gaze.

“I-I’m sorry…”

He suddenly said, the Asgardian-raised prince could now note the other’s body language, and realized he was not scared as he previously thought, but anxious and eager.

“I’m sorry if I did not talk to you sooner… I don’t want to imagine how it would feel to discover to be Asgardian and Odin’s son...”

The giant shuddered and Loki looked at him curiously, was he really empathetic or was he trying to manipulate him?  
The other started to shift nervously at Loki’s lack of words, but the trickster knew he would need friends, even fake ones, in a place such as this.

“You must be Byleistr, right?”

He tried to sound natural, which came as easy as breathing to him, and the other one nodded.

“Yes, and you must be Loki… I did not hear often mother and father talk about you, but it is known that your loss was… hard on them. I don’t know if that helps…”

Clumsy, shy, not good with words, an empath. Whether he was really talented at lying or just very naïve, Loki had just found a way to survive this.

“… it helps a bit, thank you.”

He lit up with the sincerest smile he could manage, which was very convincing if you ask anyone.  
The other smiled back, sharp canines showing through his lips, Loki knew little of the Jotnar, but he knew enough to know that they ate mostly raw meat and that their rituals involved a lot of blood and biting.

“You know, you were supposed to be the second born, first there was Helblindi, then you during the war, and I was born after, so I’m the third son, this means I’m still the baby of the family. I was hoping that if I got a brother one day I would at least become a middle child.”

Byleistr joked, chuckling, clearly trying to lift up the mood, and Loki, despite himself, genuinely smiled and got closer to the giant.

“Well, let me tell you, I know something of the hardships of being the younger brother…”

If he had to make friends with other monsters, he could at least pick one he won’t despise.

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Electricity came down from the sky, the vast snowy plains of Jotunheim were brightened by it in the deep night that was almost eternal on their planet, the Thunderer was swinging his hammer, destroying the side of a great mountain bit by bit, focusing on the big boulders that separated from the great body of rock.  
Helblindi hated Asgardians, they were the worst plague the nine could ever face, bloodlust coursed through their veins and they were insatiable, they only took, took, took and gorged themselves on the life of others.  
And his little brother was taken by them, he was defiled by their teachings and shattered by their cruel ways, he heard Thor growling to HIS little brother about his place, he saw HIS (damn, HIS) little brother watch in horror as his skin turned blue.  
He remembered his mother while she was pregnant with Loki, the war had already broken out but he himself was too young to fight, he remembered her caressing her stomach, food was scarce but she endured, she did it all for his little brother to be born, for him to live in a world of peace; when he was taken away everyone thought him dead, no one grieved as much as her.  
As he stepped closer to the thunderer he wondered if he too has a mother, if he too has anything besides violence coursing through his veins, if what was told by the All-Father is true Thor does not know his biological mother, maybe the queen even hated him for it, a secret sort of repulsion for the flesh made by your husband’s infidelity.  
That would be good.  
In a moment the sky was broken by a piercing light, brighter than any lightning, a multi-coloured beam, and the look of confusion and HURT was priceless on the scum’s face, the crown prince of Jotunheim smiled wildly, let that Asgardian be miserable, let him suffer.

“Princess.”

He addressed him with a sneer, the blonde turned and looked at him resentfully, clenching his fists, the smell of rain, so unusual on Jotunheim, was heavy, the air crackled around him.

“Your king has left you and my brother in our care for a year, if you want to more the specifics, go talk to my father, he will speak to you. Now follow me and please and do something stupid so I can finally bash your brains in.”

He turned around, not expecting Thor to follow him and hoped to be able to make true on his threat.

“My brother.”

Thor’s voice boomed like his own thunder.

“HE IS MY BROTHER!!!”

Helblindi quickly faced Thor and took a step back, his arms were rigid, legs ready to sprint, he had changed his mind, he was not that sure he could win that one, still, he held Thor’s stare, if you could call it that, his eyes wer brightly electric, no discernible colour to them.

“… Yes, sure. I’d say more like a playmate. A doll you grew bored off, I saw how you treated him, how you regarded his precious advice, maybe if you had listened you would still have a little brother to call your own.”

Thor raged.

“You know nothing of us! Of our relationship! You don't know anything about us, you… you did not grow up with him, you did not fight with him, you were not there with him while he was sick!”

“I should have! He was supposed to be my little brother and he was supposed to have me beside him! I was supposed to be there for all those things! But I was not… and you took that from me.”

He bared his fangs at Thor, he wanted nothing more than to rip into his skin-  
But then he saw the prince face drop, his eyes cast downwards and his hammer fall from his hand.

“… did father really leave?”

He suddenly asked, looking at the Bifrost location, Helblindi felt his head whip at the change in subjects. Why… what was happening?  
He had no time to think, Thor was moving towards the palace, turning his back to the destruction he himself had just caused a few minutes before.

“… I don’t want to… fight again today.”

The Asgardian admitted, head lowered and gaze cloudy with tears, Helblindi could swear he saw him shake, that’s the moment he realized he was in a similar state himself, breath short and taut muscles.

“Yes, that is sensible.”

He yielded, at last, releasing a breath he did not know he was holding in since the small party entered Jotunheim.

“You will have rooms, in the palace. I will show you to them, they are in the royal wing.”

He looked at Thor who numbly followed him with no further comment or raging remark, just sudden silence as if it had all dawned upon him at once, and the walk towards the door to Thor’s quarters was one of the tensest in the Jotun prince’s life.

“These are your rooms; they are furnished for your size and are warmer. Find pen and paper and list the things you need from Asgard, do it before sleeping and give it to a servant if you want any of your things for the next year.”

Thor nodded and closed the door behind him and in Helblindi face, it was going to be a long season.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The giantess was… tiny, smaller than Loki even, dark strands of hair fell about her and on the trunk where she was sitting, her eyes were like rubies and her skin was the lightest shade of cyan he ever saw, delicate markings adorned her skin alongside some kind of traditional makeup, her dress was made out of silks, so different from the scaly armour he saw on the warriors so far, golden jewelry adorned every part of her, from her feet to her horns that were also tiny and delicate just like anything about her seemed to be.  
> She stood up as soon as they entered the room, her eyes watered and she ran towards Loki, each step echoing with the metallic sound of her bracelets touching each other, just to stop a few centimeters from Loki, her bottom lip was between her teeth and her expression was unfocused.

The hallway was quite dark, various hues of blue decorated the walls in beautiful geometric patterns that seemed to almost melt in each other, luminescent stones radiated light every few meters and doors disturbed the designs on the walls every once in a while, Loki found himself fascinated by the artistry of whoever had made them.

“You like the doors? They are made of wood from the forest near the palace, most of the trees there seem dead, but they do grow leaves during the summer, it’s only one month of sunlight, but they make the most of it. Wood is very special and precious to us, you know?”

Byleistr chattered happily, trying to keep the conversation as cheerful as possible, Loki couldn’t say he didn’t appreciate the effort.

“The palace is striking; the outside seems more… damaged than it actually is, but I can understand the urge to deceive an enemy into thinking that you are defenseless, less powerful than you are.”

Byleistr looked at the other prince silently, but then answered self-consciously, his eyes pointedly looking away from Loki.

“We… until we beat some other race in a war we cannot rebuild, it would be shameful for us, to look powerful when we are actually defeated, so we cannot repair the outside of the palace or temple.”

Loki stared baffled at the other, he knew that the Jotnar were proud and valued prowess in battle above much else, but he did not think it would come to this point; suddenly the giant stopped.

“We’re here, your rooms.”

He said while gesturing at a wooden door smaller than the other ones.

“We have a couple of smaller rooms for those like yourself, there are quite a few in the royal family.”

Loki could not point his fingers on why, but it stung; the door was remarkable, beautiful circular swirls of blue, deep green and gold had been painted by hand, the pattern irregular but striking, one as big as the other giant could still get in by bending down a bit, although it would be uncomfortable.  
He slowly pushed on the entrance that had an uncanny but functional lock, once inside the room was almost too much, rich tapestries of the most vibrant colours, plush pillows with golden tassels, comfortable sofas and gorgeous wall-paintings that depicted scenes of haunts and ancient rituals, there was a gigantic library with almost as many books as he had in Asgard with a matching desk right under a window, lastly there was a canopy bed at the center of the room, veiled on all sides with dark fabric that was almost see-through, at the foot of the bed there was an ornate chest, on the chest a figure rested.  
The giantess was… tiny, smaller than Loki even, dark strands of hair fell about her and on the trunk where she was sitting, her eyes were like rubies and her skin was the lightest shade of cyan he ever saw, delicate markings adorned her skin alongside some kind of traditional makeup, her dress was made out of silks, so different from the scaly armour he saw on the warriors so far, golden jewelry adorned every part of her, from her feet to her horns that were also tiny and delicate just like anything about her seemed to be.  
She stood up as soon as they entered the room, her eyes watered and she ran towards Loki, each step echoing with the metallic sound of her bracelets touching each other, just to stop a few centimeters from Loki, her bottom lip was between her teeth and her expression was unfocused.

 

  


“Mother…”

Byleistr addressed her with a smile, looking affectionately to her and she smiled in return, a smile of relief and pure happiness if Loki ever saw one, then she turned to him and a bit of worry returned to crease her brow.

“Loki… it’s the name they gave to you, right?”

She asked trying not to cry, but failing as a small tear escaped and traversed her cheek, Loki did not know how to react, what to say or how to say it, so he opted for remaining silent and hoped she changed the subject; he knew who he had in front of himself, but thinking of anyone else as his mother but Frigga sent a painful ache to his heart, he remembered the endless summer days spent in her garden, learning to do magic and eating apples, what would his life have been like with this mother? Would he have been also cladded in silks and precious gems? Would they have spent endless evenings in the tundra, playing with the snow? Would he have been the bride of some powerful warrior? Maybe he would have been sent to marry Thor as a political device, the thought of that almost made him snort, he cannot imagine his big brother marrying or bedding the beings he hates most in existence.

He shook those invasive thoughts and focused on the nervous woman in front of him, woman was not even the right term, they were all the same, he was all the same, still, he could not help seeing her as female.

“Is it ok if I touch you?”

She asked slowly, as if afraid to scare him away like he was some kind of wild beast, the answer came naturally to his lips.

“No.”

Her eyes lowered in shame and hurt, but she nodded.

“I… understand.”

A few more moments of silence followed, the calm in the lavish room was almost eerie.  
“You know, you were the easiest to birth, being smaller, I remember holding you in my arms, you were so perfect… you had such beautiful light blue skin and elegant markings on your skin…”

She recalled fondly, the bittersweet smile never leaving her lips, her small hand finding Byleistr’s arm.

“Your big brother wanted to be near you, it was the end of the war and it was dangerous, he wanted to protect you, we all wanted to protect you… the last night I saw you, at the temple I had left you with the high priest, in the most sacred and secure of places, I had to help your father in battle… but when I went back everyone was dead, and you were gone. The children talked about the Aesir king who ate the prince…”

Her voice broke, Loki could not help but feel mistrustful of these creatures, although they were being quite friendly he could not help but mistrust, no one ever gave something for nothing.

“I’m telling you this just to let you know… you were wanted and loved, and oh so much missed and grieved…”

She smiled sadly, her hair covered her face as she bowed her head in defeat, the silver tongue turned to lead in his mouth.

“I- “  
There was a noise of something knocking on rock and a curse, they both turned towards the door where Byleistr had gotten out of his mother’s hold was trying to exit without being noticed, probably feeling quite awkward in the intense conversation, but his bulk worked against him in this situation.  
Loki could not help the laugh that escaped his lips, it broke the tension in his shoulders, his arms coming down to hold his stomach in his hysteric laugh.  
The warrior’s face coloured deep purple, embarrassment bright on his features, Loki heard the queen soft chuckle and turned to her, she was very tiny, frail-looking, Loki had no idea how a relationship between her and the king would even work, he quickly got rid of the horrid thought and composed himself.  
She turned towards him once more, the air in the room returned solemn.

“We’ll leave you to your thoughts… in about two hours we’ll have a meal, we would be happy if you and prince Thor would attend, he is down this corridor on the right. Before coming take some time to yourself, it’s been a harsh day for all of us, especially you and the Thunderer.”

Loki felt his heart squeeze, he wasn’t sure he wanted to be alone.

“And please write what you’ll need from Asgard and give it to the servants tonight, tomorrow everything will be brought here.”

Loki nodded, a bit out of it, then he was left alone with a last glance from his… the queen before she closed the door behind her.  
Loki found a piece of paper on the desk with a quill beside it, the room was lavishly decorated but awfully impersonal; the prince forced all thoughts away from a few minutes, his practicality taking over, he wrote down what he would need from his rooms and opened the door to give the slip of parchment to the attending servant. This left him in the corridor alone, not even guards anywhere near him, he looked down the hall and saw what must be Thor’s quarters.  
When he walked towards the other door he could not tell, but he found himself gripping the handle, about to open.  
But what if Thor hated him now? What if he was repulsed by the idea alone of having spent his childhood with Loki, with a monster.  
Before he could knock someone else had hastily opened the door, Thor looked at him from the other side, for once his body didn’t fill the whole door frame, his face was covered in dirt and an awful cut ran down from his right brow to his left cheek exposing the white cartilage of his nose.

“What happened to your face?!”

Loki asked, already fretting and pulling Thor back into the room, it was as well decorated as his, full of splendour and opulence, Loki did not expect such richness from the ice realm; he made Thor sit on a plush sofa, right next to a blazing fireplace, this should keep them warm.  
Keep his bro- Thor warm, Loki just realized he had not felt cold since he stepped into Jotunheim, or ever, for that matter now that he dwelled on it.  
But that wasn’t a thought for that moment.  
A few more seconds of silence followed and for a moment Loki’s stomach dropped, was this it? Was Thor not going to talk to him anymore? He wished for a different reality, a reality in which that Jotun had not spoken a word, in which he was not found out by anyone as a monster and he returned back to Asgard, with his brother and his father still such.

“A rock.”  
The thunderer mumbled, his lips caked with blood.

“… a rock?”

Loki asked, his chest expanding once more.

“Yes, a rock, I was… hammering a mountain.”

Loki smiled and took a healing stone from a hidden pocket in his chest plate.

“But why, yes, the great Thor, venting his frustrations on a defenseless piece of rock. Fitting.”

“Stop jesting, you know it’s not the time. Father has left for Asgard and left us to these monsters.”

As soon as Thor uttered the word he went pale, slowly he turned to Loki; Loki did not know how to register the lump in his throat.

“… it’s ok, I know you don’t mean anything by it.”

Or at least he wished he knew.

“Loki… I’m so sorry, I- I don't want to group you with those beasts.”

The younger bit his lip, there was so much to tell.

“Let’s look at your wound, close your eyes.”

He said instead, Thor, after a few seconds of hesitance did as he was told, his face relaxing so Loki could take a proper look at his skin.  
It was badly damaged, the edges of the skin already going black with frostbite, bits of frozen blood on his beard, not to mention the white peeking through the bridge of his nose, he crushed the healing stone and added a few spells to repair the wound.  
A mark now appeared in the middle of Thor’s perfect features, a jagged ceratoid mess, it was quite fitting somehow, a scar like this on this day, marring the perfect façade of the house of Odin, caused but the hand of the wounded himself.  
Really, funny how life could be so ironic at times.

“There is a mark, but you look more of a seasoned warrior with it so…”

Thor stood up and went up to a mirror nearby, tracing the scar with his calloused finger.

“It’s really ugly.”

“It fits you”

The two shared a bittersweet look, right after this whole thing, right back to banter, this was what Loki loved most about Thor, he knew that whatever he did Thor would always back him up, that day had just proven it.

“Did you write what you need from your chambers?”

Thor shook his head and made a face.“Not really… I wouldn't know what to ask for.”

Loki pretended to exhale an exasperated sigh.

“I don’t know, clothes? You smell like an orc and you are shivering, the natives seem not too bothered by it, I would not count on them to have furs.”

Thor pouted but went and picked up paper and quill anyway.

“Maybe I’ll make them bring my whole room. Like you probably asked them to.”

Loki smirked.

“Or maybe I have everything that I truly need here.”

He opened a portal and took out an old book, just to then place it right back.

“You would know my rooms have been barren for a while if you only came to visit them every once in a while.”

He added a bit sourly, the smile on his lips a bit less genuine; Thor adverted his eyes.

“I… wanted to… but you’re always so distant, I don't know how to approach you anymore, no one does. And now this… I can’t bear it, it’s too much all at once, I fear for you brother, and I fear for our family.”

“Our family?”

Loki looked at him, not concealing his anger anymore.

“Your family! You know, brother, now it all makes sense! Why dad favoured you all these years! Because no matter how much he claims to love me he could never have a frost giant sitting on the throne of Asgard!”

He breathed deeply, wet trails on his cheeks, his brother still before him, but then a fire lit up in his eyes.

“You don’t know a thing about how much father regards you! And mother! Loki is so much more careful than you Thor, try thinking a bit more like him! Oh, don’t worry Thor, as long as you bring Loki with you it’s fine, I know he will keep you out of trouble! As children mother was always with you! ALWAYS! I don't remember a single day of me and mum when I was a child, I- “

Loki pushed him in anger, the surprise moving Thor more than Loki himself.

“Are you serious?! I’m not even a fucking Aesir Thor! I’m a Jotun! Blue skin, marks, red eyes, and the damn horns! I’m the whole fucking package, not even a MAN! I didn’t get to still be dad’s son! I didn't get to be only a quarter monster! Just fucking shut up!”

The first blow comes hard on Thor’s chest, a bit of wild magic present on Loki’s fist, then one more struck feebly on him, and a couple almost imperceptible ones.  
Loki was never like his brother, quick of anger and quicker to forgive, to give a hug, he had always needed his time, his space to think. But he did not push his brother when at last he hugged him.

 

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Thor had composed himself, so had Loki, they silently agreed that they would talk about it in another moment, they had time.  
He finished writing on the parchment and straightened his belt.

“Let’s go, they are waiting for us to dine with them.”

Thor nodded and they went out, Loki looked at him for a moment and with a flick of his hand the smell and gore came off from his armour.

“At least it won’t be your smell that offends them.”

Thor tried to give him a playful swat on the neck that Loki avoided easily, it took little time to find a servant to give the scrap of paper to, his hulking form looking at them warily, and even less to find the dining hall.  
Trays of food were laid out, fishes of all colours and sizes, cheeses and meat, a big platter with what looked like jellyfish was on the end of the table and in the middle, was an ice-rabbit, roasted and presented with baked vegetables.  
A thin woman stood up from her chair, her small body looked as if ready to break any moment under the weight of her jewels, her hair was the longest and blackest Thor had ever seen, Sif would be jealous.

“Oh, I’m glad you came now, I was afraid the food we had made for you would get cold, I’m sorry for the lack of variety, but on such short notice…”

She motioned to the roasted meat, Laufey that was just right of her and smiled softly in her direction; She must be the queen, Loki’s birth mother.  
She was so small… now that Thor looked carefully at her he could notice the faint outline of breasts on her otherwise flat torso, blushing he looked away, why only wear a loincloth if you had breasts?

“Thank you, queen Farabuti, we sincerely appreciate it.”

Loki said for him, the took place at Laufey’s right, first Loki, then Thor, Byleistr and Helblindi in front of them.

“It is a pleasure to have you both at our dining table.”

The king said.

“This is not a banquet, we’ll have time for that later, now we dine as a family, and Thor, for as much as there is bad blood between me and your father you are more than welcome at my dinner table, for my mother and your grandmother were sisters, and you are my nephew, this war has gone on for way too long after it’s end, and it’s time to remind ourselves of what makes us the same, not what divides us, I hope you will find happiness and meaning in your time here.”

As soon as the serious enouncement was made the queen caressed Laufey’s forearm, smiling brightly and turning towards Loki to speak.

“And Loki… I hope you’ll give us a chance to show you how much you mean to us, how much happiness finding out who you are truly brought us.”

Thor looked down at the food that was made for them, just for them, they could not eat anything that hot, for sure, so they made it just to honour their guests.  
Thor was never like his brother, good with words, but he was good at showing how he felt.  
He took a leg from the rabbit and a piece of cold fish from the side; When Laufey gave his blessings for everyone to eat it was with a smile.

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Thank you for reading! I hope you liked the fanart I made... for myself, sad I know. anyway follow me on tumblr (PernillaWrites:) for updates/requests or to tag me in your own fanart! Comments are super appreciated and keep me going! Updates coming soon!   


**Author's Note:**

> If you like this and want to follow me on tumblr I'm pernillawrites:
> 
> https://pernillawrites.tumblr.com 
> 
> Leave a comment telling me what you think will happen! I want to see how many of you(if any) can guess! :D


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